Would you pass the marshmallow test?
If you don’t know the test, then take a look here*
I wouldn’t.
Even though I’m a planner, like to get things in place and
prepare for differing scenarios, that’s based on another driver.
Immediate gratification. That’s what I’m looking for.
Just to be clear, there’s debate around the conclusions to
drawn from the original research study, but I reference it because it brought
into the public consciousness the idea of willpower, self-control and delayed
gratification holding the key to better life outcomes and ‘success’.
I’ll give you an example, it’s a bit more personal than
work-related, but it’s one on my mind right now for a number of reasons.
Exercise.
I loathe it.
The whole endorphin rush seems to pass me by.
It’s painful. I ache afterwards and if I’m not careful I can
trigger a migraine.
But research and medical evidence says that if I want to
live a longer, healthier better quality of life, especially in older age, then
exercise is vital. Especially with an office-based job.
Well of course that’s what I want.
Without any doubt.
But it’s not enough of a driver in the here and now.
I need something more immediate.
And it’s been difficult to find that sense of
‘gratification’.
I’m still looking…!
And in the mean time I try to keep a track of activity
whether that’s exercise or something that’s more active than sitting at my
desk. Just something to help me remind myself that I am doing something even if
I’m not training to improve my fitness.
So how does this trait of mine play out?
Well, my tendency for immediate gratification comes through
in how I approach work.
I’m a deadline worker – deadline and milestones weeks and
months ahead are too nebulous for me to feel the urgency or immediacy to get on
with my contributions.
I want feedback – simply to understand whether what I’ve
done meets expectations or not.
I need a sense of purpose – how does my piece of work fit
into the larger picture, simply being told to get on with a task or programme
of work is not enough to motivate me or for me to feel I’ve done my best and
truly delivered what’s been asked of me.
Whilst what is important for me isn’t necessarily what’s
important to others, I try to use these points to help me support and
collaborate with the people I work with.
Taking time to talk things through has felt even more vital
through the past 18 months with uncertainty and rapid changes bringing
questions of “what am I/we doing and why?”
Making time to talk, even in a virtual space has been a
vital sense of connection with people and a sense of community. Even in just
trying to make sense of events that have felt outside of our control.
It’s made me appreciate that through these times the sense
of gratification has been connecting with people individually within the
virtual space and that a ‘problem shared is a problem halved’.
So if we stick with the idea, how would you rate yourself on
the marshmallow test?
Would the 4 year-old you wait?
Or would you have just gone for the marshmallow sitting
there in front of you?
And how does that translate to your work and what you want
and expect?
And yet I know this trait is not an absolute. It’s a
preference. A strong one, but still a preference. I may find it difficult to
exercise even though I know it’s hard to feel that long term benefit right now,
but I can also be patient and put off the instant gratification for a bigger
prize.
When I want to make a significant purchase, I wait and save.
Counting the pennies anticipating when I’ve done enough to get there. And when
I make that purchase it feels good. I treasure it.
If only I could feel the same with exercise…
